The spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.  He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captivities and release from darkness for the prisoners.  Isaiah 61:1

This verse rings so true in my heart after returning back home from Our Father’s Farm.  During my stay on the farm, I had a God-filled time of healing and an incredible in-filling of Jesus in my heart and spirit.  I was told of the Good News, my heart started healing, freedom was proclaimed to me as a captive and I was a prisoner released from darkness. PRAISE GOD!!!

I had been in counseling for 7 years almost on a weekly basis.  I suffered with anxiety that had significantly gotten worse over the last 2 years to the point that I would not travel more than 30 minutes from my home, was tormented in my mind by the enemy to the point of him trying to make me think I was going to go crazy, and I had many parts of me that were disconnected from myself.  I was a prisoner.

I had many God encounters on the farm during my own personal time and during my God Encounter sessions.  God spoke and showed me so many things about Himself, how he really does love me and how others really do love me.  Since I was so against feeling, I did not like to hear this “love” word and found it hard to believe that others really could love me or care (especially people on this farm because they did not even know me).  This “love” word still seems strange to hear, but I am letting it seep in more and more and beginning to believe it.  Due to my childhood and some trauma that took place, I had put in place many vows of not EVER feeling again (good or bad), words don’t matter and I would never let anyone in.  I had many parts that were separated, disconnected and disassociated from myself.  God so graciously allowed all my parts to integrate.  God also did this so gently…. for the most part.  Not that it was easy or emotionally painless, but I was afraid that he would want me to see details of what happened to me in order for me to be healed, and I felt that that would be so painful that I would not be able to handle it.  But God knew perfectly how to help me and so He did.  He knew what I could handle and never gave me more than that.  I also had so many negative thoughts running around in my head along with the anxiety that it seemed that I lived in a daze on the inside and tried to function on the outside without anyone knowing what was going on in the inside.  It started to become overwhelming inside to the point that I started to feel like I was crazy which is what the enemy wanted…..but God had way different plans.

There is no doubt that God appointed my stay on the farm for such a time as this.  I had never heard of Encountering God, Our Father’s Farm or Rhonda Calhoun until I went to a conference where Rhonda was speaking.  While speaking, her heart became apparent to me that she really did care about people, and her testimony was amazing to hear.  I wanted that freedom she talked about in this Jesus she seemed to know so well.  I wanted to know Him like she knows Him.  I wanted freedom from my prison.  So….I said yes to God’s invitation for Him to do amazing work within the deepest parts of my being here at the farm.  That is what He does here at the Farm….Amazing things.  Amazing healing.

I spent a month on the farm and arrived not knowing anyone personally.  I had only heard Rhonda speak at the conference, and I prayed that if this farm is not of You God, then don’t let me go.  He let me go, and it was DEFINITELY of HIM.  This farm is ALL about HIM.  God is EVERYWHERE here at the farm.  Especially in the hearts of EVERYONE who works on the farm.  They are all humble servants for God.  That is what makes them tick…seeing God heal people and setting them free.  None of them knew me but yet they welcomed me in as part of their family, and I believe they truly wanted everything that God wanted for me.  They are truly servants of the Lord.

I have since returned home and my mind is amazingly not being tormented by all those negative thoughts.  It is truly amazing.  I was able to fly home by myself.  (I had to have someone fly with me to get to the farm because my anxiety was so bad).  I know without a shadow of disbelief that I am changed in the deepest part of my being and mind and my spirit has come alive.  I know I will have stuff to walk out and choices to make, but I have a new beginning and no longer have to buy into the lies I bought into for so many years.  I AM FREE!!!